Monday, April 9, 2012

Filling Our Love Tanks-Saving Marriages

For Valentine's Day my Visiting Teacher gave me a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I recently started reading it and was amazed about the cool advice that was within. I want to share something I learned in Chapter 2 called "Keeping the Love Tank Full"  I've learned we all have love tanks (children and adults alike) and that sometimes we all speak a different love language.

A quote from the book, "Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an invisible "emotional love tank" with its gauge on empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank? If we could find a way to fill it, could the marriage be reborn? With a full tank would couples be able to create an emotional climate where it is possible to discuss differences and resolve conflicts? could that tank be the key that makes marriages work?

I am convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level or gas is to an automobile. Running your marriage on an empty "love tank" may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil or gas. Whatever the quality of your marriage is now, it can always be better.

Warning: Understanding the five love languages and learning to speak the primary love language of your spouse may radically affect his or her behavior. People behave differently when their emotional love tanks are full.

The five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

Each of these have their own dialects. Which one is your primary love language? I'm thinking mine is the first and last. But, I'm thinking my husband speaks another language, I just need to figure it out and learn to speak it. I'm guessing his primary love language is Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation by reading the book.This book has helped me be a little more objective, step out of myself and listen to what is being said by listening to the dialect of the speech being said. I think I'm starting to understand. This book has great advice on saving marriages, correcting and improving and making our marriages better.

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